new chapter in life new stories

udah lama ga ngisi blog karena gatau apa yang harus ditulis disini
gw bingung ngisinya dengan cerita apa
kadang gw klo udah tau mau nulis apa tapi begitu ditinggal bentar mau nulis udah ga mood lagi nulisnya
sekarang gw bingung klo gw cerita kadang orang mengintepretasiin jadi keluhan maksud gw kan ga ngeluh kenapa jadi kaya ngeluh zzzz

barusan gw ngalamin kejadian yang enggak pengen gw ceritain ke satu orang pun di dunia ini yang gw kenal
ga memalukan sih kejadiannya
cuma gw terlalu malu untuk bilang ke orang2 aja
semua karena gw minta maaf duluan dan terus ada perubahan dan gatau kenapa gw yang tadinya keukeuh jadi ikut berubah
tapi perubahan ini ga gw kasih tau ke siapa pun
gw berubah jadi kaya apa juga ga gw kasih tau disini saking gelinya gw buat ngakuin perubahan itu

semester ganjil kayanya semester yang baik2 aja buat gw di jogja
and i dont want to spoil it even just a little
gw cuma bisa berharap semoga semuanya berjalan dengan yang seharusnya
semuanya bisa baik2 aja
ga usah childish gt kaya kemaren2 berantem ga jelas zzz

satu yang gw harap dari sekarang dan terus ke depan nanti
ga ada satu orang pun yang tau apa yang terjadi sekarang

the dream

when i remember that dream i had last night gw cuma ngerasa bersalah tingkat tinggi
gatau kenapa padahal itu cuma mimpi doang tapinya gw ngerasa gw udah melakukan suatu dosa tingkat tinggi
karena gw rasa mimpi berasal dari pikiran bawah sadar manusia
dan mungkin pikiran bawah sadar gw dari kelas 1 sma itu masih terus tersimpan sebagaimana gw menolaknya karena itu ga mungkin
dari sisi mana pun itu ga mungkin
dan gw sendiri pun ga pengen itu terjadi -ya walau mungkin ada rasa pengen sedikit-
terlalu menyakitkan buat hal itu terjadi karena bakal ada banyak pihak yg tersakiti
mikir itu beneran aja gw ngerasa serem
walau untuk sekejap gw seneng berada di dalam mimpi itu
gw bangun dan tidur lagi berharap mimpinya berlanjut dan bangun dengan muka bahagia
tapi lama2 gw ngerasa bersalah
apalagi malem ini
rasa bersalah gw makin tinggi
ini semua udah gw tutup sedemikian rupa biar ga ada yg tau, yang ngerasa pun gw rasa bakal punya alasan tertentu buat ga mikir ke arah yang gw rasain
dan gw rasa gw cukup pandai mengelabui orang2 sekitar gw bahwa emang ga ada apa2
dan gw rasa emang ga ada apa2
emang ga ada ngapain dibahas

push push push im pushing you away
please leave

i saw that eyes once again and now i feel like i once new that look on your eyes
no more that fiery look on your face
it feels like the first time
and it felt good
maybe better or even more than that

then why did i turn away
am i afraid of what i saw?
am i afraid of what i would feel if i look into your deep brown eyes?
maybe i am
or maybe not

i was so sure that i am in the right way of leaving you
and now i don't know

i shouldn't look back on those things ga produktif

piece of mind

there's something new about my life, i don't know what but u feel it
you know there are times when we have to let go of things we thought we shouldn't
i'm on that time
the time which i have to let go of things i thought i would never have to let go
in any kind of way i don't wanna let these things go
i was like a child asking her mom to buy a huge animal stuff and crying in vain so that mom would buy me one

what if i cry?

i see now crying wouldn't solve any problem
i thought this time if i cry all of the things i had to let go would be back on my lap in a count of three
but it didn't
why can't it be there like it used to?

because things change

NORAH JONES - WHAT AM I TO YOU LYRICS

NORAH JONES - WHAT AM I TO YOU LYRICS

ketika seteres mendera

jason mraz

come on jason mraz work your magic for one more time
did i went wrong that last time?
did i said something wrong that last time?
i don't remember what happened that time
i totally forgot
all i know is every time i send that human a message that human hasn't even reply me at all
in any kind of way did i do something wrong?
if i did then why don't you tell me?
i guess i just have to figure out that mistake by myself
well i told you that i was not in the mood so is it your time to have that not in the mood thing too?
does that not in the mood thing took you this long?
or am i just too childish for you to handle?

you say that you really want to fly, maybe you are flying right now
moving far far away from where i am now that you don't have any signal or something

oh God this is such a laugh