a quality sleep

i don't know since how many days ago i can't sleep well
i can only sleep for about two hours then i woke up then check my cellphone then stare at the ceiling for like half an hour then sleep then after two more hours i woke up and check my cellphone and i keep doing that till my alarm rings
i hate it
i hate it when i can't sleep well
i can't think straight yet i can't keep my emotion down
i bought this cough syrup and i once drink that and i sleep well for about 8 hours and i hope it can do the same now
i really need a quality sleep
i really do
i even start to annoy everyone around me because of my emotion and i don't want that to happen again

i'll drink that syrup, sorry mom i have to :O

what you call as undercover

it feels so baaaaad not being able to share anything with anyone right now because i decided everything that happens is best to be kept alone
i don't know is it because me changing then all of this happen
all i know i feel so sad and i really need a hug yet there's noone to hug
even if there is they'll ask me why and i can't answer it
i only told one of my friend and i don't know why i don't want him to know what is going on with me tonight
not now
not when i'm feeling this blue
i don't want anyone to know how broken i am lately
i only want them to see me okay, happy
when everybody thinks that i'm happy i know that i would be

all i wanna do is cry out loud tonight

the hardest 6 months ever

i had the best and probably also the worst semester ever as long as i can remember
i don't really wanna talk about it but i just wanna share so that maybe one day if i read this again i'll remember i have been a tough one because i didn't cry :)
that was just amazing for me ahaha okay well i cried not until i had this tragedy and i promise myself not to cry if it is not worth and so i didn't
well some part of me forgot how it is to cry cause i just got so badly hurt
some part of me tells that i should just take those tragedies as my lesson
and so i did

aaah well i'm not in the mood to write so see you soon stories :)