risih

have you ever feel uncozy with somebody or something?
i have, well i'm feeling it right now
i'm feeling not cozy with everything around me
why? i don't know
my head aches so much
my mind is somewhere far away from where i belong now
my body won't cooperate with me
okay i think i really don't feel good

i need a rest
a long one
so my mind will not be like what i have right now
negative thoughts all over my brain
GOSH GET IT OUT OF MY BRAIN PLEASE!!!

sumpah gw risih banget sama LO

the continuing weirdness

kenapa ini hidup gw abstrak bener akhir2 ini

tugas banyak males ngerjain

ga dikasih tugas ga ada yang dikerjain

banyak acara ga bisa ngeschedulinnya

ga ada acara bete di kosan ckck

maunya apa toh hidup gw ini

kan isi post gw aja ini gajelas

ckck

a little weird

i don't know why i feel a little weird lately
i start to stop calling names
i start to act like who i am when i was in senior high
i start to stop respecting people who used to be respected by me
i feel odd
i feel angry
i think i'm mad
mad at myself and mad to other people as well
i can't understand myself and neither do otherself
places which used to be fun for me doesn't feel the same anymore
places where i used to not like is somehow in somewhat way so cozy for me well not that cozy i mean
i think gw udah betahan tinggal di jogja
something told me to stay and i stayed
something told me that i will survive and find happiness here that's why i stay and i wait and wait till the thing that told me to stay and wait comes out from it's chamber to tell me what i was looking for for all of this time
something beautiful will come i guess
i'm feeling it somehow

i don't know if i'm acting so mature lately but i think i should start to change little by little coz i'm old now
well not that old i mean just old enough to know what's right and wrong
to stop whinning
to stop crying
to stop depending on other people
to stop mad at people when they done something wrong
just start to forgive as much as you want to be forgiven by people when you've made a mistake
just start to give advice to yourself and do what you think is right and do what you advice to other people

tiba-tiba pengen yoghurt cimory haha

missing

did i tell you how much i miss my old life?

i miss it so much

but i think i kinda love my new one too

i learn a lot from my old mistakes that were too much to mention and i think i learn the hard way

i closed some doors i should have closed before and open some new ones

i choose things i haven't ever choose it before

finding something new

finding something more precious

looking for something fresh

i think i'm a step a head from who i am before

i choose to do things which involve with other people and i prefer lots of them

and i am starting to join stuff like activities which makes a lot of people happy

like the beach tour i had last week which will happen again this week and for this week i'll help them clean their environment which in Indonesian language is called kerja bakti

well at first i had to choose between that activity which is fun but tiring at the same time and a journey to nowhere with my high school friends which is surely fun but i don't know if will make other people happy too

haha cheesy

i want to live a life which is useful to other people

hello i'm 20 for God's sake so i think i better choose the right way to walk down the road to heaven haha

ngawur bener nih yang gw ketik

i haven't entering more post to my lovely blog since i haven't have much time and connection to the network but i guess i'll follow up my stories so that i could read it again and again in the future even if my diary isn't around anymore

:D