boong

GA USAH BOONG JUGA KALI!!

di kostan mati lampu tau bakalan lama

mengingat yang pernah terjadi membuatku berfikir betapa bedanya situasi dan keadaan sekarang dengan dulu saat semuanya biasa saja

mungkin tidak seharusnya dari awal saya memperlakukan semua orang sama even if he/she is a stranger or you can say a person you just met

tidak, semua orang tidak sama begitu pun menurut saya cara 'mendekati' atau bersikap friendly kepada kawan baru tidak bisa disamakan

saya harus melihat latar belakangnya, dari mana dia berasal, bagaimana biasanya ia berkomunikasi dengan orang, dia suka dan tidak suka apa dsb

ya, itu saya rasa patut diperhatikan agar tidak terjadi kesalah pahaman

saya tidak menyesali apapun itu yang telah menimpa ups terjadi maksud saya kepada saya karena somehow ini seperti berkah

saya merasa mendapat pencerahan atau 'enlightment' i once read in one of my lecture book

saya sekarangmengerti rasanya indah dan nyaman sekali berada di rumah yang tak seberapa besar dan indahnya

tapi saya merasa berada di rumah merupakan suatu berkah yang tak ternilai harganya

saya merasa setiap waktu that i spent there were the most precious moments that i'd ever had, and it is limited

saya pun baru sadar betapa indahnya 'terkekang' oleh aturan yang kadang tidak masuk akal sehingga saya sangat ingin terbebas dari itu semua

sekarang saya baru sadar apakah setelah saya 'terbebas' dari itu everything will be better?!

i don't think so

menurut saya hidup teratur asal dinikmati merupakan sesuatu yang indah

buat apa manusia diberi akal hidup seenaknya tak mengenal aturan dan batas-batas tertentu

useless

tuhan begitu adil

ya, menurutku Tuhan itu sangat adil

tuhan memberi sakit agar saya merasakan betapa indahnya sehat

tuhan memberikan hambaNya segala sesuatu dari kedua sisinya agar hambaNya sadar betapa indahnya dunia yang penuh karunia ini

agar hambaNya mensyukuri apa yang telah diberikanNya pada hambaNya

sekali lagi ini menurut saya

akhir-akhir ini saya baru menyadari betapa beruntungnya saya

saya baru mensyukuri apa yang Tuhan telah berikan kepada saya

keterlaluan memang, namun setidaknya ini membuat saya lebih menghargai hidup

setiap detiknya saya berusaha 'segimana cara' agar bermanfaat dan tersenyum 

bukan gila tapi ini bentuk saya mensyukuri hidup dengan mengisinya dengan kebahagiaan

setiap hal pasti ada hikmahnya

saya merasa sangat berterimakasih atas semua

crumble up

the walls that you built has crumble down
you yes you yourself crushed it down without me asking for it to happened
as if you knowi want it that way and you want it that way too
but
you're too late
you crushed it when i am starting to build my own
now then you see me as if there no yesterday's mistakes
but i am not the same person as i was before
not a bit
coz you'll be seeing me over my own walls
the walls that'll protect me from all the bad things in life that i've ever had in my life before
sorry if you're not expecting that to happened but it did
i was so ready to face the world on my own
without you it feels so much better

something i should remember

when you're happy
don't be too happy
when you're sad
don't be too sad

believe in yourself that no matter how happy or sad you are right now it will CHANGE

envy

i just found out that one of my high school friend who has been studying abroad for a year in america is going to america again and i think she got some kind of scholarship or something

gosh i am so envying her

i really want to get a scholarship like that

i just haven't found it yet

maybe it's because i never look for it before

dang i really want to

well i would like to go back to my elementary school once more before i die of course and live there once more but not for 2 years maybe

i just want to get out of this country once more

and if that happens i wish yeah i really wish that i go by my one money

i don't want my parents to pay for it now

haha

hopes and dreams

i hope i dream while i'm awake so that i am living my dreams

hehe

account

gw baru aja nyadar account gw banyak juga yah di dunia maya haha
guna ga sih? ga tiap hari juga gw buka
ada yang ampe bulukan ga pernah gw buka lagi soalnya gw lupa password dan segala macem
ada juga yang menurut gw pas abis gw sign up gw rasa ga guna buka2 situs itu lagi hahaha
gwnya aja kali ya yang gatau gimana ngegunainnya
sekarang klo gw itung2 account di situs2 gw yang masih aktif ada sekitar 8 lah
itu juga cuma 4 yang selalu gw buka tiap hari sisanya gw buka klo lagi senggang kaya sekarang
suka ketawa sendiri deh gw kalo inget gimana dulu baru gabung di suatu situs trus bego sendiri mau ngapain ga ngerti haha

jiwa otak badan

ternyata otak jiwa badan emang terhubung yah

i feel so bad lately

i don't feel good

my body isn't working like it has to

it starts with this long nightmares and it continues in the next night i sleep

bangun2 ga fresh, cape banget kaya abis lari marathon berapa kilo aja

ga semangat trus mikirin yang gak gak 

pokoknya what i'm thinking is so bad

gara2 nightmares berkepanjangan gw ga enak badan ga enak otak ga semangat cape

gatau kenapa tapi efek nightmare begitu berasa buat gw apalagi setelah gw tinggal di kostan gw malah jadi ga pernah tidur gara2 nightmares haha

gw jadi amat jutek gini ke orang klo udah begini haha

rasanya pengen nyalahin orang atas apa yang gw rasain

sekarang gw ngerasa ga enak body banget argh i hate it

gw males nerima telp dari siapa pun dan males banget bales sms dari siapa pun besides gw ga punya pulsa pada salah satu nomor gw

pengen deactivate semua account and phones

pengen sehari diem aja di kamar

ngerasa relax

pengen nyoba gitu

di kamar aja i guess it wouldn't hurt anyone yah klo gw semedi dikamar aja ga kemana2 n nyuruh orang nganter hehe

sori ya buat orang yang waktu itu dengan sukarela nganter gw ke tempat jauh nan damai itu tapi gw jahatin 

maap hehe

kebiasaan buruk gw itu

menjauhi seseorang gara2 ilfil dan ngilanginnya susah banget

sekarang mah udah ga ko hehe

heavenly bless :)

actually i wanted to post this a long time ago
not that long like years
tapi koneksinya lancar pisan ahaha

lately i feel so content
now i know that my life somehow is already full of happiness and joy
so why did i felt so sorrow before??
gw ga nyadar yang gw punya indah2 ternyata
my family i love my family so much and i now realize that they are so precious
so much precious
ans i don't wanna let them go haha
but i have to
i feel so lucky that i realize how precious they are when all of them are still alive
i feel so bless
and i feel so bless by having these chunks of friends if u compare to the population of the world haha
my friends are like the best thing i ever had besides my family and pets of course
coz they never let me down (nah they had once or twice but it don't matter much right haha)
they zap me from my sorrow and turn it into something so beautiful
gw berasa terlahir kembali begitu balik ke kota tercinta gw
even though my family isn't that rich but i feel so content with them
i love them so much haha
i can't stop telling that i love them
i'm afraid that i don't have the time to tell it so i guess its best to tell it now haha
and of course i love you and you know i do ahahahahha :))

oh i forgot to thank God for everything i have and giving me the opportunity to feel it hehe
love you so much God :*

my playlist

okay my playlist on my phone lately are just some songs some dimasukin secara random sama gw

and some of them i really like hehe

here it is:

star of bethlehem by Angels and Airwaves (asal masukin karena cuma intro asaan haha)

alone by avril feat travis (love it so coz it's so me haha)

losing grip by avril lavigne (just love it, gatau sejak kapan it has been my soundtrack of life after having stuff with boys and it makes me strong :) hehe)

my life would suck without you by kelly clarkson (i don't really like the song but i listen to it haha)

emotions by mymp (i love mymp jadi gw asal masukin semua lagunya ajah haha)

i can do better by avril lavigne (LOVE it so haha coz i really can do better de wkwk)

tatto by jordin sparks (sangat menggambarkan gw belakangan ini hehe jadi theme song sementara lah)

cadillac phunque by family force (sealbumeun family force gw masukin abis lagunya lucu hehe gw suka)

i do not hook up by kelly clarkson (suka bangeeeeeeeeeeeeet haha)

the pick of destiny by tenacious d (just love the song)

kountry gentlemen by family force (sukasukasuka)

runaway by avril lavigne (wild side)

already gone by kelly clarkson (it's the song from somebody for me wahahaha)

viva la vida by coldplay (who doesn't like this song right??)

best damn thing by avril lavigne (berasa the best klo nyanyiin lagu itu gw haha)

officially yours by craig david (enakeun)

heaven by maliq n d'essentials (gatau bisa nyemplung di playlist gw gimana cara)

lil thing by maliq n d'essentials (same reason as the above)

can't take my eyes of you by muse (gw masukin gara2 musenya tapi klo lagi di mainin selalu gw forward lagunya haha)

x-girlfriend by family force (he just became my xboyfriend haha)

fences by paramore (lucu beatnya buat gw mah hehe)

love you lately by daniel powter (blom gw apus aja ni lagu dari hp gw haha)

at your best by mymp (jarang dengerin jadi gatau yang mana lagunya)

everytime by avril lavigne (gw pernah suka banget sama lagu ini jadi gw suka aja terus zzz)

drama queen by family force

put ur hands up by family force (asa2 pernah denger ni lagu tapi bukan dy yang bawain haha)

love addict by family force (hold up wait a minute put a little love in it)

earthquake by family force

irreplaceable by beyonce (bagus lagunya banyak memorinya haha)

baby now i found you by mymp

if i never see your face again by maroon 5 feat rihanna (just like the song)

eternal flame by mymp (berasa eternalnya hehe)

stuck by stacie oricco (dulu pernah ngerasa jadi tokoh utama di lagu ini haha)

make me pure by robbie william (oh Lord please make me pure)

all i have by backstreets boys (teringat masa2 waktu gw tinggal disana haha)

bizzare love triangle by frente (lagu pasaran tea)

replace me by family force

love drunk by boys like girls (wanna feel that way again)

cry by rihanna (iiiih lagunya gw banget haha)

bend and break by keane (i don't know why but i really like this song <3)

true love by Angels and Airwave (ava mah semuanya suka saya)

lifeline by angels and airwave

jumping rooftops by angels and airwave

miss you by mymp

bubbly by colbie caillat (hihi teringat kk kelas saya yang gw gebet waktu sma haha eh sampe sekarang deng :">)

numb by family force

rite of spring by angels and airwave

hurt by christina (terimakasih gara2 lagu ini gw sadar haha)

lose urself by family force

peachy by family force (i wonder how is feeling peachy haha)

supersonic by family force

girl in the mirror by britney spears (lagu yang nemenin gw klo mau kuliah)

adams song by blink 182 (everybody know this song is kewl)

only reminds me of you by mymp

i love you to death by family force

face down by family force

never let me go by family force

whenever wherever... by mymp

stay together for the kids by blink 182 (alhamdulillah udah ga begini cerita hidup gw haha)

diva by beyonce

when you're gone by bryan adams (ketularan kk gw jadi suka juga)

what am i to you by norah jones (yang ini ketularan bokap haha)

falling for you by colbie caillat (this song is so me haha)

say it right by nelly furtado (pengen bilang ini lagu gua banget tapi bosen juga haha)

i don't wanna miss a thing by aerosmith (ini lagu bagus parah apalagi filmnya suka banget <3)

byebye by mariah carrey (bagus)

mencintai untuk dicintai by ari (inget risanti my BFF nyuruh gw dengerin lagu ini pas gw patah hati haha)

how you love me now by hey monday (so me! no question about it haha)

homecoming by hey monday

i look good without you by jessie james (best song after a break up <3)

wanted by jessie james (theme song gw mandi haha)

with me tonight by the used (suka banget haha)

ain't no other man by christina aguerila (nyelundup masuk playlist gw tapi gw suka juga sih)

rainbow veins by owl city (owl city musiknya unik :))

aduh masih banyak tapi gw udah males ngetiknya sumpah ahahahahaha

sok2 mau rajin gw ngisi blog gw yang garink dengan begituan ternyata melelahkan

ga nyadar gw ternyata hampir semuanya gw bilang lagunya gw banget haha

emang iya sih makanya gw masukin playlist duh

zz